Saturday, April 5, 2014

Long silence

Forgive my long silence, I've had a really tough time lately and haven't been on my computer. I plan on doing a real blog post this weekend, after I fix my headset - which is of course, broken. >_> be amuse that was my luck in the last two weeks.

Sunday, March 23, 2014


Really? Cause multiple doctors appointments while my parents are out of town aren't enough?

Saturday I had a flat tire, A's birthday party at chuck e cheese and a freaking ticket for expired tags
Sunday I took my parents to the airport at 4am, had game canceled, took the dog with me while I went to get my oil changed to find out that both freaking fog lights are out and can't be replaced because they are corroded and then got pulled over AGAIN for the tags and I can't freaking get deqed until tuesday. And my pizza was late so I was freaking hungry and I hurt all over and am sweating and hot and this damn stress isnt helping.

Oh and monday I have 10am cosmos watching with B, 12am pick up A, 1pm watch my sisters kids M and H, take care of the dogs by myself, deposit the money to cover the freaking ticket and like not explode.
Tuesday I have a 10am rheumy appointment, 12am pick up A, get deq done in sherwood, go to the dmv, get my stuff together for LARP next weekend so that wends and thurs I can get the things I am missing. I think I am missing a set of petticoats and need a new top for the character. Oh and friday I have a 1030am endocrinology appointment and have to pick up people for LARP and find the new campsite in a reasonable time.

And I have to get my meds tomorrow because I am out of a bunch of them and keep forgetting to refill them which I did today and they are ready at rite aid. oh and I am not on the forums for LARP yet for some reason so I can't get the bloody directions for LARP so I don't know where I am going and I am so freaking stressed. And I need to send in that damn ticket too before I leave for LARP that I am afraid my everything is going to flare up because it's bad already and I have to deal with it alone and it's getting tough.

I am scared what the rheumy will say and the endo will say and I need to call the OHSU echo labs to get my holter monitor set up and I don't even know the number for them so I have to call the main desk and I hate talking on the phone because I get all nervous and I don't know how I am going to deal with the dogs for the week on top of all this shit and I am shaking, sweating, and despite trying desperately to destress and self care all afternoon I feel worse than I did when I got up.

I really fucking need a friend that can be here for me and K is too busy for me and I haven't seen the other K in like a month and without game today the only contact I have really is A and her mom L and I just. UGH. I am either going to pull through this by some freaking miracle or going to crash and burn. Sorry this is so disorganized and messed up I am a freaking basket case right now. Not having my muscle spasm meds isn't helping because my muscles are twitching like mad and the stress is just making it worse.

I am going to go back to watching criminal minds now and ignore the world again.

Friday, March 21, 2014


I am so boiling hot. Like, sweating profusely and unable to cool off no matter what I do. All freaking day.

I wish I could just sleep tomorrow but I have A's birthday at 230 at... chuck e cheese. Ugh. And then I have game sunday. As next week is spring break I am watching A earlier in the day. BOO. She's great but still, it's tiring.


>.> I had managed to shake my obsession with origami for a bit until mom asked me to make one of her kids an octohedron. It's pretty. I'ts been so long since I have done it though that I am rusty on combining propeller units and it took me way too long. I need to make a box for Ari's birthday present too >.< ah well.

I have an appointment for a sleep study but it's not till freaking June. -sigh- At least the important ones are next week.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

all the doctors

It was doctor contact day apparently.

I got a call from the endocrinologist, I go in the 28th
I got an email from my doctor, I am doing a heart monitor and have to call the echo lab
I go into the rheumy the 28th

And of course all of this is happening the week my parents are in Cancun for spring break and I have to watch A more because of spring break. All sorts of fun times >.<

Monday, March 17, 2014

I hate sleep

In many ways I hate sleep.

Or rather, I hate my relationship with sleep. I desperately wanted to sleep last night, I went to bed at a reasonable hour, I took my meds, I took my sleeping pills and I didn't sleep. All night. I manged a couple of hours of sleep at like 830-9am or so. Boo. Now I am exhausted and all I want to do is sleep but I know that if I go to bed early that I will be awake at like 3am and not able to sleep. Again.

I forgot to call the sleep study people because I was too bloody out of it.

Tsh and t4

Just a quickie, I got my lab results for the tsh and the free t4 levels from when I was at the Er.

My tsh is now .08 o_0 it was 6.95 went a bit far in the wrong direction for sure.
My free t4 is at 1.3 though I don't know how it's different since we didn't check this. 

So yeah, medically induced hyperthyroid yay. Now I know why the Er doc told me to stop the thyroid meds. >_> it gets to even out a bit more while I wait to see the endocrinologist.